Tuesday, February 14, 2017

The Week Before “We’re Pregnant"

The Week before “We’re Pregnant”

June 23, 2016:

We have a Vegas wedding plus honeymoon in Napa and other West Coast locations in the works - Vegas and it’s chapel are fully booked! 

I’m excited to get married. I’m excited to drink overly priced cocktails in Vegas. I’m excited to tour the Grand Canyon. I’m excited to cheers with friends and family and my new husband the night we get married. I’m excited to drink champagne for breakfast (on your honeymoon you have to, right?). I’m excited to wine taste (drink) in Napa Valley. I’m just excited to drink and run around new town(s) with my new hubby.

Since our Vegas wedding is set for 10/7/16, I really need to get a dress. So naturally, like all girls right, I plan dress shopping… unique for me is that I plan to do this alone. No, not because I have no friends. Because it is just so like me to do it alone.

It’s Saturday and I have a list of stores I intend to shop, so I put on my makeup and high heels and go.

P.S. - Since I know the stores are near a restaurant who carries a wine by the glass I recently discovered I absolutely love, Tait “The Ball Buster” Shiraz, I already know where I am having lunch - Seasons 52, alone, at the bar, with wine, hopefully cheering finding that wedding dress.

One of the main reasons we decided to do Vegas is because I told my fiancé I really don’t want to deal with all the fuss of a formally planned wedding. Sure, weddings are a beautiful thing, but I just can’t… thousands and thousands of dollars, a lot of stress, too many plans to make, details no one remembers and I won’t have time to enjoy, a lot of pressure… just doesn’t fit in with the kind of first memories I want to have in starting my life with my Boo.

Confession… been there, done that… the wedding planning. Thank God that didn’t work out - I’ve all but forgotten that man, but I haven’t forgotten how much I did NOT enjoy planning that wedding I am so thankful never happened.

So the dress… I don’t want anything “crazy” - it needs to be able to travel well, and obviously I need it before the wedding so lots of designer stores are out of the question. 

Today, I went to a couple “trunk show” and display sales. I actually found something I really loved. It wasn’t too big and flashy, it fit my curves which is something I thought my soon to be hubby would like, it was just “ different” and I could buy it off the rack. Perfect right? Well, all except the price. It was $2000 marked down to $999 - quite the discount, but still out of the less than $500 budget I had in mind.

What do you think?

I also found this dress at Macy’s - classic look, simple, somewhat easy to transport, made by Calvin Klein, and under budget at about $300. Not a “wedding” dress, and not at all what I had in mind, but an option.

Weeks earlier when I wasn’t sure what we would do for the wedding, I found this dress which I absolutely fell in love with - but considering it would take months to get and costs more than our entire elopement will, it’s out. It’s too beautiful not to show.

After shopping, I wasn’t ready to make a decision, so off to Season’s 52 for my Ball Buster Shiraz I went. 

I decided to give my sister a call — this is where things get ironic.

My sister has been having trouble getting pregnant for quite some time now. Lots of tests, lots of attempts, and it’s looking like IVF might be her only worthwhile option. She is desperate to have a child… one of those women who truly feel her life will not be complete without experiencing pregnancy. I feel for her struggle.

In our conversation, I mentioned dress shopping and gave her Vegas details. I told her my we've decided to stop trying to get pregnant, and I was going to ask my OBGYN for birth control. I mentioned we’d been trying for months, I’ve even been tracking my cycle, but to no pregnancy avail… I was starting to wonder if I, too, have underlying problems with getting pregnant.

We talked about IVF and other options, and I confidently (much more confidently than I would have thought) told her if we couldn’t get pregnant naturally, I would just “let it go”.

I decided right there in that moment that I was going to be okay with not getting pregnant, with never having a child.

Selfishly, I told her how great and fun of a life I am sure my soon to be hubby and I would have with the freedom of only having his daughter part-time without the responsibility (and expense) of a child of our own. I decided I would enjoy my step daughter and be okay not getting pregnant, ever.

The conversation caught her off guard. It caught me off guard, too. I didn’t think I could be so okay with not having a child. But, then again, I am the girl who likes to drink at a bar by herself on a Saturday after stag wedding dress shopping.

I guess that is that - I’m going to get birth control, and so be it if I don’t get pregnant, ever. So be it if my soon to be hubby and I live a spoiled, traveling, full of freedom life.

First travel adventure as husband and wife countdown begins now.

105 days till husband and wife.

102 days till liftoff to Vegas.

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